In my late 20s I lived in Southern California in a hillside efficiency apartment alone. I had a wonderful boyfriend. He was not tall but he was handsome, blue eyes heir-apparent to Paul Newman, according to him. He was modest so I tended to believe him. Reluctantly, he was taking over the family’s paper and packaging supply business self-medicating his desire to travel the world. With me he was always clear, coherent and receptive.
Over two years I attended social events with his family. They were always kind and gracious. His two sisters and his Mother liked me, which meant a lot to me. So, one day when I felt secure, I asked HIM to MARRY ME. Of course I gave him time to think about it. We always were gentle with one another. The next time we were together he declined marriage but had in his hand a receipt in my name for a ten-week course to study Mime in Berkeley, CA.
“You don’t owe me anything.” I was looking into his eyes.
“You taught me how to love, he said to me. I want to do this for you.”
He gave me two great gifts that day. An awesome compliment about my ability to communicate love and the Mime Course which became my edge to reading body language.
I don’t know what love is. It’s so ethereal and elusive. I know it when I hear it and see it. And I respond from my heart to just about anyone listening. I certainly know what it is not. It has to do with expansion and contraction. Love expands, and most importantly, keeps expanding. Any degree short of pure love contracts.
We all have access to pure love. It’s a matter of perception. Perceptions are changeable.