Keep Talking

I believe many people feel what love is. We certainly can sense what it is not. We often can remember when it was knocking at our door or there in the room with us.

We can not return to that time. In all honesty, we wouldn’t want to go back in time.

Life has a perpetual forward movement, . . . onward and upward.

Like Spring flowers inching their way through newly warmed soil. Dormant all Winter, now they push toward their Spring blossoms, ever moving toward Summer’s maturity.

This is the same energy that pushes all of us toward our best selves.

Best Self – What is that? Who is that? Inside ME??

Yes it is! And you are itching to get out.

So keep talking . . .

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You’ll discover love within.

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Legends

Most of us want to be a legend in our own time. Seriously, though. Legends are in us. We are amazing as children. At that age, its natural to dream, almost all the time. Love is unconditional because everything is full of wonder, parts of a major puzzle we piece together of this life, everything, literally everything is welcomed as it is for what it is.

We are open hearted and naturally honest. Later in life we learn to be contrary. We learn to protect ourselves and to choose our words, often saying what the other wants to hear. All this is learned.

Here I wish to focus on the highly personal legend we know about our lives as young children.

Look at this little fellow. He knows. He even holds his body and his hands as if he is making a point about what he knows. His face is full of delight.

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No one else knows what you are deep inside. Your legend lays itself out in front of you to be fulfilled, step-by-step.  It is not only there with you, it is constantly presenting itself, over and over again. It urges you to follow, you know its there, you can feel it.

Then the alarm rings or your Mom/Wife says its time to get going with a day your (our) society has pre-scribed. And we go to work to that prescribed place. Its time to find your legend. Or, you know you are along the path of your legend because of the feeling of being in the right place at any particular time. And you have an expanded sense of time.

If you allow it, your path will lay itself out in front of you.

Its so easy, it takes less effort than usual. It takes an open mind.

Once you are on your own personal path you will be fulfilling your legend. Thats when life becomes delightful once again.

 

 

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A Love Affair with Fabric

I’m the one with the head-over-heals love affair with FABRIC. Coco Chanel was the one with her feet firmly planted in STYLE. Over my 38 years of dressmaking I saw people become better, more of their true self, with a custom-made garment of their choice. During wardrobe consultations they saved themselves tons of money zeroing in on their own particular style. Their budget for clothes got smaller while their stature (sense of self) got larger.

For a longer lasting wardrobe and one that is far more comfortable I advocate natural fibers, cotton, wool, silk and linen. With so many facts about each of these four fibers/fabrics. I will devote a blog to each one. First, C O T T O N.

I will report on wool, silk and linen another time, and soon.

COTTON

Cotton goes everywhere –  athletic wear to evening wear.. The fiber is so versatile that it can be woven or knitted into a bunch of different fabrics like corduroy, chambray, lace and velour.

Cotton sheets allow your skin to breathe. Unlike synthetic sheets, it doesn’t trap heat under the covers.

Since cotton is breathable and doesn’t retain odors like oil-based fabrics. You’ll save money, water and energy, and help your clothes last even longer.

Cotton is low maintenance. Easier to wash and care for than other fabrics. Think of the money you’ll save on dry cleaning. A little touch up with an iron is an easy exchange.

You can buy too much stretch. The more spandex you add to a garment, the higher your chances of sagging, bagging and stretching out. Stay at or below 5% spandex for your garment to keep its shape.

Who wants to be sweaty? Cotton breathes better than oil-based synthetic fabrics like polyester, so it’s the perfect for working out. Moisture-wicking cotton is specially designed to keep you drier and cooler during exercise.

Cotten doesn’t stink, cling to your body or pill . . . looking old with little balls on the surface.

The industry is conscious of our future.

Over the last 35 years, the commitment of U.S. cotton producers, researchers, and industry organizations led to dramatic reductions in land use, soil loss, water use, energy use.

Among cotton growers there are several organizations with the common goal of better understanding, and measuring sustainability efforts to help reduce environmental impact.

To stay informed on issues related to cotton they are constantly updating reference materials, videos, animations and fact sheets. Learn more at: https://thefabricofourlives.com/our-programs

The Daily Prompt asked for blogs about Fabric.

 


“We have an intimate relationship with fabric starting minutes after we are born, wrapped in a receiving blanket. From then most of us never appear in public without fabric cut and sewn to enhance our shape and our lives.”

I do wardrobe consulting in person and online and write this blog – pashasalon.blog

via Daily Prompt: Fabric

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Dinner

Do you remember this? You had to come to dinner every night. You had to be on-time. Before you sat down at the table you had to wash your face and hands and brush off your clothes.

Every family member sat down to dinner at the same time every night of the week.

All of the food was on the table. Dishes were passed around with a big spoon for scooping up your portion divided by the number of mouths around the table. When you tried to skip the peas, you got a commanding lecture.

You were asked how your day went and what was bothering you. You could have an excuse not to be there, but it had to be a real good one. The next day at dinner you had to give an accounting of that place, who was there, what you did and how you felt about it.

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You couldn’t talk back or make a smart remark.

You also could not walk away until you were excused.

So what did we get for all the trouble it took to participate in this somewhat repressive ritual?   We learned to have a day that was valuable, reportable to people who day after day showed us how concerned they were about our lives. Relatives who we saw everyday and who cared about us.

We learned to talk to others openly face-to-face about how we feel and get their feed-back, perspective, validation. We learned to mean what we say and say what we mean.

Back then we called it Integrity. Now, they call it “being real.”

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Except for some very fortunate households, on the whole we no longer practice this ritual nor any of the virtues attached to it. Perhaps we need to consciously decide what kind of world we want to have going forward. I want to suggest that we ought to make a conscious decision about how we want to relate to one another.

Those nightly dinners fed more than our bodies.

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The Changes I’ve Been Going Through

Many of us hold a vision in our minds, not a visual vision, but rather a feeling based in our hearts of a love that will never fail. We wonder will it ever be fulfilled. Yes, yes it will.

How do I know? Because I know hoping and keeping the dream makes it so. There is a shift in the air, the space around us, and in the Universe at large when you refuse to let go of the dream. So, darling, keep the dream. It will make a space to be filled by the right person.

There will be wanna-be mates who turn out to be substitutes, like seconds (flawed clothing items) and knock-offs (copied from the original item).  Forgive me, my first career was as a dressmaker. But I have been a student of love my whole life.

I research love all the time. No one knows how to solve the mystery except for those folks who can honestly say and show they have been happily married for decades. One of my study groups. These folks have something in common. They are willing to change.

Its not easy, the older and seemingly wiser we get, the harder it is to let someone else be the reason we will change. My suggestion is to become child-like again. Be that inquisitive and influential kid you once were. You are older and wise enough not to get in trouble. But remember how open your heart and mind used to be. Access that beautiful child again in IMG_0211your older body and watch, wait and see what appears before you. Say yes to love when its standing right in front of you.

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Loved

I just returned from my girlfriend Shirley’s 75th birthday party. I have known her for little over a year. The woman sitting next to me at the party lunch table had know her for 45 years. There were twelve women present who know Shirley, chosen by Shirley to come to her party.

IMG_3640Her youngest daughter, soon to turn 50 years old, made all the arrangements at a local restaurant’s semi-private room. Soft sunlight from a snowy winter’s day radiated from a wall of windows on one side of the room. Tall helium balloons and a custom cake kept company on two tables full of gifts.

Shirley’s 14 year old granddaughter was sitting next to her mom, grinning from ear to ear, as proud and as calm and centered as her mother and grandma. This young girl was getting a good example of feminine wisdom.

Every woman in that room was age 50 or older. They all had beaming smiles, open hearts and gracious manners.

You can imagine how I felt.

They did not talk about Sisterhood, MeToo, Woman’s issues, or gender stereotyping. We were present for Shirley. Each woman believed Shirley has lived a long life as a totally loving, exceptionally warm-hearted person. By saying, a person, I mean anyone can choose this path and so create such an event on their 75th birthday. Shirley is not rich with money, not a celebrity beyond those who know her personally, not a social advocate. She worked years as a Social Worker. She gives from her heart.

These are the finer things in life. Love is what matters. Imagine in your old age being so remembered by people who feel loved by you. Present day, loved by you. What you imagine, you can make happen. This is worthwhile.

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Patterns

How do you trust someone so completely to feel able to devote the rest of your life to them, to make them a death-till-us-part life partner?

What if they change after the vows? What if over the years they develop in a direction opposed to your direction? Will they make you miserable down the road or being you happiness?

You may be in love right now. That much is true.

But this kind of love glows hot and in time burns away. What is left is a decision to stay together based on how intertwined your lives have become. IMG_3579

You can get a clue how your loved one will make that decision by looking for their patterns. These are patterns of behavior from their past. In your own mind, use words like practical, impatient, shallow, careful, considerate, needy, wise.

Ask your loved one about their past, paying attention to their attitude in addition to their words. Then, take the time to verify their viewpoint by cross referencing stories with their friends and relatives. Don’t fool yourself. Love comes in many forms. There are many people to love. The trust you need in a Life Partner is only as strong your match.

If their true patterns are the kind you can love and be comfortable trusting, you have a match. After all, you will see these patterns clear as day when all is said and done. Why not gather this information ahead of your choice for a Life Partner?

Question: Why have a Life Partner?

Answer: Because life is meant to be shared, the ups the downs, the ins and outs.

If this has been helpful, please let me know. I need your comments.

Love,

Pasha

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